I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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