I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
