"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
