this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The power of my boobs compel you
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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