so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
