UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
