Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
