what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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