At least make sure they are 18
Why
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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