Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
