he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
