Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
