my vag is so smooth its legendary
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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