I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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