Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
