Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
