I cannot find my penis.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
