Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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