I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
