i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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