oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
