I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We are two peas in an std pod
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
