i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
