I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
