i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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