Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He better not be in your backpack
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I party with great urgency now.
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