Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So vagazzling was a success
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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