She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
