either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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