New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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