I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
