Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
