well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
