He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
