She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize