I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
