i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
and she was petting her beer can
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
