Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
