I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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