apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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