oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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