But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
