Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
