I want to stick my p in your. b.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
