so that wasnt chicken after all
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Dicks are not precious.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
