Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
