I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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