I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
