As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
