I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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